The Gift of Forgiveness (Ephesians 4)
This sermon considers forgiveness not as an emotion, but as a deliberate choice offered by God and extended to others. It explores the deeply personal and relational impact of both holding onto and letting go of an unforgiving spirit.
This sermon explains that forgiveness is a divine gift and a choice, not a feeling. It details how unforgiveness leads to emotional bondage and broken relationships, while choosing to forgive frees both parties and deepens fellowship with God.
Overview
The sermon introduces forgiveness as a gift from God, rooted in the teachings of Ephesians chapter 4. The apostle Paul outlines how believers, having understood their position in Christ, are called to behave, specifically to put away bitterness and be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as God has forgiven them.
When individuals refuse to forgive, they face several consequences, beginning with emotional bondage. This state is characterized by anger, bitterness, and resentment, which color every aspect of their life, preventing them from receiving love and causing them to blame others for their difficulties.
A second major consequence of unforgiveness is broken relationships. Harboring an unforgiving spirit erects walls, creating suspicion and distance from others. The sermon illustrates this by noting how children, being discerning, can sense an unloving or hardened heart, highlighting that such attitudes cannot be hidden and hinder genuine connection.
Beyond personal relationships, unforgiveness also erodes fellowship with God and can even affect one's physical health, as our bodies are not designed to harbor such prolonged negativity. The sermon then shifts to practical methods for dealing with unforgiveness, whether the offender seeks reconciliation, is unwilling to acknowledge their wrong, or is no longer alive.
Key points
- Forgiveness is presented as God's gift and a conscious choice, not a mere feeling.
- An unforgiving spirit leads to emotional bondage, coloring all attitudes and preventing the reception of love.
- Unforgiveness results in broken relationships by fostering suspicion and building emotional walls.
- Harboring bitterness erodes a believer's fellowship with God and can negatively impact physical well-being.
- When someone asks for forgiveness, the only proper response is a clear declaration of 'you are forgiven'.
- For those who will never apologize (or are deceased), a method of visualizing them and verbally declaring forgiveness is suggested to achieve personal freedom.
- Dealing with unforgiveness brings personal freedom, a new perspective, spiritual growth, and opens doors for God's use in one's life.
In Charles Stanley's words
“Forgiveness is not a feeling we have. Forgiveness is a choice we make.”
“You can't hide love. Neither can you hide a bitter, angry, unforgiving spirit.”
“As long as you have an unforgiving spirit towards someone else, not only are they not free, you're not free.”
Outline
- I. Introduction: The Gift of Forgiveness (Ephesians 4)
- A. Paul's instructions for believers
- B. The call to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving (Ephesians 4:31-32)
- II. Consequences of an Unforgiving Spirit
- A. Emotional bondage
- 1. Colors everything in life
- 2. Prevents receiving love
- 3. Leads to blaming others
- B. Broken relationships
- 1. Hampers connections and builds walls
- 2. People keep their guard up
- 3. Children can sense unforgiveness
- C. Erodes fellowship with God
- 1. Inconsistent with genuine praise
- 2. Love for God is linked to love for visible brother/sister
- D. Affects physically
- 1. Bodies not made to harbor bitterness
- III. How to Deal with Unforgiveness
- A. When someone asks for forgiveness
- 1. Proper response: "You are forgiven."
- 2. It's a choice, not a feeling
- B. When people will never come to you, don't realize they wronged you, or have died
- 1. Method: The "empty chair" visualization
- a. Express the hurt and feelings
- b. Make a choice to forgive them
- c. Pray for healing and new perspective
- 2. Results of this method:
- a. You are set free
- b. Your perspective changes
- c. You take a leap in spiritual life
- d. God can use you more
- C. When you need to ask for forgiveness for your own attitude
- 1. Be wise and prayerful about approaching others
- 2. Focus on "my attitude" and "what I felt" rather than blaming them
- 3. Personal example: The preacher's stepfather
- IV. Conclusion: Freedom Through Forgiveness
- A. Invitation to trust Jesus for forgiveness
- B. An unforgiving spirit limits God's work through you
Scripture references
1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,
2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Insights
Forgiveness is a choice that sets both the giver and receiver free.
An unforgiving spirit builds walls that keep others, and even God, out.
True love has no barriers, much like a grandchild's eager approach.
Questions & answers
What is the sermon's main point about forgiveness?
The sermon highlights that forgiveness is a divine gift and a clear call for believers, emphasizing that it is a choice rather than a feeling.
What are the consequences of an unforgiving spirit according to the sermon?
An unforgiving spirit leads to emotional bondage, broken relationships, erosion of fellowship with God, and can negatively affect physical health.
How does the sermon suggest dealing with someone who will never apologize?
The sermon suggests a "two chairs" method: visualize the person, express your hurt, and then, as a choice, declare your forgiveness to them.
Does the sermon mention forgiving deceased individuals?
Yes, it addresses this, stating that the "empty chair" method can be used to deal with animosity towards someone who has died, bringing freedom to the one holding the unforgiveness.
How does unforgiveness affect one's relationship with God?
It erodes fellowship with God because one cannot genuinely praise God while harboring ill will towards a visible brother or sister.
What are the benefits of choosing to forgive?
Choosing to forgive sets you free, changes your perspective on the other person, advances your spiritual life, and opens doors for God to use you in new ways.
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Source
Unofficial AI summary for study purposes. Watch the full sermon on In Touch Ministries. Sermon Insights is not affiliated with or endorsed by the pastor or church.